what a life..

being all alone.

my greatest fear.

being too crowded.

my greatest dislike.

being close to someone.

my greatest dream.

being too close to someone.

i never wish.

i have never in my life wished what i have gone through today.

so many things i have gone through that i much and deeply regret.

till today, many things i have done is still haunting each night of my restless sleep.

i am like a person who has committed murder even tough hurting someone is not my game.

i have gone long through helping people who very much never have appreciated me.

at all.

i don't expect them to repay any of my kindness.

it is enough if they pray for my well being.

but, to know that they betrayed me.

never loyal to me.

repaying me with sins and hatred.

is not what i expect or wanted.

enough that i know what they had done.

and wish that they knew it.

i know sometimes i may be "lurus bendul".

but that doesn't mean that you can step on my head.

nope.

no.

not ever.

now that i had enough.

no one will be trusted.

no one will be my best friend.

no one will ever be too close or close with me.

this ends here.

right now.

end.

"true friends and true love are VERY hard to find. there is no point of finding them. It will come to you in God's unique way. trust it."

akhirnya.

yang ditunggu-tunggu telah tiba..

semester 3 dah pon berakhir...

like i posted in my fb

"FINALLY.....semua kecelakaan jln raya, semua salah faham signboard,
semua ketakseragaman undang2,
semua kekecohan kemalangan,
semua ketidakpastian jalan,
semua wrong turn,
semua u-turn,
semua selok belok sem 3.....
HABIS! =)"

it has really finished.
all the sweet memories is till hot in my mind.
while the bitter ones are still hard to forget.
i am glad that this semester has ended.
i can see that i have really stepped up to the plate.
i have really put all (80%) my effort in this semester.
next semester will be more.
=)

i will put up some of the memoirs of semester 3 in the next blog post.
oh!
on wednesday we are selebrating out Eid Aidiladha...
wonder what mom will cook.
oh!
my room is such a mess.
imagine.
a whole 4 month of living in the hostel is dumped in the floor of my room.
*sigh*

will also put extra effort on that.
hehehe
=)

i can't imagine me saying this,
neither would you.
but..
i am actually looking forward to go study for next semester!
i even have already
crafted a stationery place
to put my pens and everything.
this idea came from KAK MAS.
she was the same level as i was
she was also my roommate's best friend.
.......
i got to see her drawer and how she organized her things
by putting them in boxes.
this was also done by my latest friend
noor.
i hang out a lot with them lately.
by them i mean her and ida.
.....
the boxes used are recycled.
tissue boxes
cereal boxes
etc
etc
etc

it so neat.
i had the chance to do a place where i can put my pens and scissors and stapler and all....
but me?
it still needs some making up to do.
beautification
yeah
that is what it needs.
heheh.

i can't really stop writing because i'm using my brothers computer
he has really nice keyboard.
really comfy
haha

end!

"what we hope for and longed for may not come as we vision them. but they will show up sooner or later."

SACC MALL

they came to me after the exam.

=)

finals of semester 3

today is my 1st examination for semester 3...

Research Methadology a.k.a. RM a.k.a. MGT 533..

the paper was....OK!

it was a 3 hour paper...i used all the time given..except for 1 minute.

haha

we had 2 weeks before exams starts.

so i really focused on this subject only!

(shud've been for other subject too)

so it was kindda boring.

haha

but when the paper was out.

there was a bit of difficulty in answering them.

thank Allah that i did not focus on the spotted questions.

i read through everything.

ALHAMDULILLAH!

after the exams.......

my family came to Shah Alam

we had lunch

then went to buy some stuff

then

i'm back at

2B-01-29

=(

but no worries..

they will come back on my birthday!

6TH NOVEMBER 2010

SATURDAY!!

hehe

really can't wait!

i think i want to buy myself a shoe for my birthday

i saw it at SACC mall.

you the shoe that i have always wanted?

the wooden shoe

but pretty...

haha

nice!

it was only rm49.90

a good price for a beautiful pair of wooden shoe.

sexy some more!

hope i can score on my other papers.

oh!

i aim to get B+ or A- or A for this paper.

the other papers too.

but for the other papers,

i have to add more power, spices and love

=-)

wish me all the luck!

the what?

haha, as usual..i forgot the existence of my dearly beloved blog which i haven't given a name.
poor you.all my stuff has a name but you.
well,
now it is 17 of october. it has been a month since i wrote here.
so many things has happened in a month.

1. there were loads of tests and quizes and fighting over reports and due date.
2. there were trips to westport klang.
3. before that, there was eidulfitri.
4. tomoro there's the MGT 533 test.

sadly, i have not really begin the mood to take finals.
however, i think i managed to set the early mood of setting up my calender.
which now is on the table of my hostel bedroom.
i have yet another test to go.
i also have a lot of re-studying to do.
past sem papers are also calling out to me.
that i'll get to it.

the chance of me getting a 3.3 and above,
seems so far away by now.
i wonder why.
i have failed 1 test. out of 8.
but still one more test to go.
i really need to see my carry marks to do some targetting.
=)

31st October -> MGT 533
8th November -> OPM 534
11th November -> OPM 533
14th November -> OPM 535

haiyaaa~
Dear Allah my God, please make me get more than 3.33 this semester.
i don't want my gred's to fall.
amin.

today

terbang tanpa sayap

angan ku untuk terbang tinggi

menyapa awan

melawan angin

mengapai matahari.

angan ku untuk terbang tinggi

angin menyentuh kulit ku

deruannya kua di telinga ku

nyaman.

angan ku

hanyalah angan-angan semata

kerna patahnya sayapku

hampa.

semua yang di harap

hancur berderai

semua yang di inginkan

tinggal sahaja.

aku tidak lagi mampu berangan

kerana tak mungkin ku mampu untuk terbang

pabila patahnya sayap ku ini.

sayap ku umpama nadi hidup ku.

jantung ku

nyawa ku

tanpa nya

apa lah aku.

patahnya sayap ku.

hilang lah arah ku.

ke mana untuk ku harap kan.

pada apa hendak ku sandarkan.

terkapai

tersadai

terbiar

di sini.

tanpa sepasang sayap

yang mampu menyemai jiwaku

dengan kebahagian dan kesenangan.

"sayapku hati ku, sayapku jantungku, sayap ku nadi ku, sayapku perasaan ku terhadapmu"